Our first selfie together.”ĭavid rolls his eyes but smiled for it anyway. “What the hell are you doing?” He grumbled as you extended your arm. You remember taking this picture, on David’s old cellphone. Specifically, the first picture you two ever took together. There isn’t a synopsis on the back so you open to where the bookmark is…and the bookmark is a picture.Ī tiny one of you and him. It’s not a book that you know, but the title sounds like something David would read. You grab it carefully, reading the cover. You just lay there with your eyes closed until every feeling of David is flushed out by you.Įventually, you open your eyes again, looking at his nightstand. This can’t be healthy, but what choice do you have?īut you don’t sleep. You lay on your side, hugging his pillow tight and trying to breathe him in. Putting your phone back down, you turn the lamp back off and slide to the other side of the bed. You’ll just frustrate him, or thats what you tell yourself. But you stop yourself because it’s not worth the lecture.
You sit up and turn the light back on, grabbing your phone and almost reflexively calling David. Every texture is suddenly a bad texture and you can’t physically take laying in bed for even a second longer. Yet when you turn your nightstand lamp off and put your head down…that hot, thick anxiety and dread fill your stomach again.
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Lay down in bed with your phone on the charger, tea in the thermos, and TV on for light background noise. Consider taking a shower but decide it’s too late so you just wash your face and brush your teeth. Make a snack because you don’t remember eating dinner. Right? Maybe not…įirst, pack up and put away your work stuff. Pretend to have a routine and maybe you’ll fall into a real one. Take it slow, and reduce the pressure and anxiety of it. You take a deep breath and decide that it's better late than never. You’d almost definitely have to call into work though, and that fucking sucks. A big part of you wants to just listen to David, go get ready and lay in bed until you “fall asleep.” A bigger part of you just wants to stay up until he inevitably comes home, and takes the lecture. Otherwise, you get weirdly anxious and sad, and angry. You couldn’t sleep, but you shared a bed with…fucking David so you just had to stare into space until finally, your body had no choice but to sleep.Īnd now the only way you can even go into your bedroom is when David is home. But, somehow, at the beginning of your and David’s relationship, before you even moved in together, you were sleeping soundly every night.īut it all went back to how it was when you two moved into his old apartment. You’ve always struggled to sleep, even as a kid but you shouldn’t be too shocked. But it has been this way for a long time. You hold back even more tears, your face, and stomach hot with anxiety. You’re already considering calling in, knowing for a fact that you won’t be able to sleep tonight. Probably sleeping because they also have work early. You, 10:11 PM: okay, cool, just thought i would ask :) You, 10:10 PM: you wanna have a sleepover?Īsher’s babe, 10:11 PM: I’m sorry hun but I have work early. When he does, a thousand and one thoughts run around your head.
Not David, because that logic would drive him insane. Hell, you can’t even lay in bed without him. It felt like every night now, because it is. You’re slumped over your laptop, working overtime. Please just get to sleep, don’t stay up all night working.” You curse yourself, swallowing as quietly as possible. It’s not going to rain or anything, but if there's an emergency or anything, you can call Asher or Milo’s mates, okay?” “Is everything okay? Like are you guys all right? Want me to bring food?” “Um…okay.” You smile, pretending to be okay with it. That deep feeling of anxiety and dread fill your gut like hot water.
“Okay well, I should be home later tonight. You glance at the time, it’s barely past ten at night. You hear him clear his throat and muffled talking in the background. * Converts given Canvas to HTMLImageElement.“Hey.” You answer with a smile already on your face.
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